Words and poets and grease

Books that changed my life part two

“Stay gold, ponyboy.” One of the most impactful quotes in all of young adult canon. At least it is to me.

Growing up, I struggled finding books I was “allowed” to read. The books my friends were reading were mostly forbidden by my parents, for good or for bad (I’ll leave that debate for another time). With a reading addiction as strong as mine was (and still is) I struggled with this conundrum, and throughout this time of limited reading material, my mom tried her hardest to keep a book in my hand at all times. This led to her suggesting some of her favorite books that she read in high school, one of which was The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton.

Not only did I love this book and the characters in it, but I read it six times. Four times consecutively. From a reader’s perspective, the plot and characters are so well done that I was immediately immersed in the world of greasers and socs.

From a writer’s perspective, S.E. Hinton became my life goal – she published The Outsiders at age 18 and I made it my goal to write and publish a book with such unique voice and relatable story by the time I graduated high school. That goal was not met, but I knew it was ambitious and I’m still striving to be as unique and solid of a writer as Hinton is, even if high school and college have since passed me by.

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Writing Personally

A lot of writers say, “write what you know.” They use it as a mantra, a motto, saying it over and over again. Giving it as advice to other writers as well as themselves. This advice isn’t necessarily wrong or bad, but it should require some clarification and attached warnings.

Writing what you know means different things to different people (hense the needed clarification). Some people mean write in the style/genre you read most or are the most familiar with. Other people mean write characters that you identify with or understand well. Others mean write stories based on your own life experience. Again, none of this is bad advice.

But, a few words of caution: if you write what you know, especially using the last definition, be aware that it may be harder to be content with the outcome.

This is what I’m currently struggling with. I have written a story based closely on some events in my life, events that changed me as a person and, as I grew, changed how I thought about church and faith. I have big plans for this novel. Big motivations. A clear purpose; a strong message. And yet I cannot get it right. I cannot seem to write the story how it appears in my head.

If this were any old story idea, I would be fine with that. I would let the story lead me where it wants to go and let it share what it needed to. But this one is different. It feels like there is so much riding on it; there is a specific story I want to tell out of all this, and yet it can’t ever quite get there.

After I “finished” this novel in May, I gave up on it. I thought I would never touch it again; it would never be published. It would never be good enough. Yet I cannot seem to let it go. I keep going back to my motivations for writing it in the first place (outlined briefly here) and my heart aches thinking that I have these passions about YA and faith coming together and I’m not doing anything about it.

So here I am, frustrated and discontent with my story, yet still trucking through somehow. All that to say, if you have stories you want to tell that mean a lot to you, be prepared to work through them even when it seems impossible.

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